मरा हुआ कौवा

पड़ोस के वर्मा जी सबसे आगे-आगे चल रहे थे। उनके पीछे-पीछे उनके दो बेटे और पड़ोस के अन्य लड़के भी चल रहे थे। दस लोगों के उस समूह में वर्मा जी को छोड़कर बाकी सभी किशोरावस्था में थे। वर्मा जी आगे-आगे किसी सिपाही की मुद्रा में कदम ताल करते हुए चल रहे थे। उनके पीछे चल रहे लड़के उनकी हूबहू नकल उतार रहे थे। इससे वर्मा जी के बेटों को कुछ अच्छा नहीं लग रहा था।

वर्मा जी कह रहे थे, “सुबह-सुबह सैर करने से बहुत सारे फायदे होते हैं। ताजी हवा अंदर जाने से सेहत अच्छी रहती है।“

एक लड़के ने जवाब दिया, “हाँ चचा, सही कहा आपने। हम किस्मत वाले हैं कि हमारे शहर में मॉर्निंग वाक के लिए राज का इतना बड़ा कैंपस है।“

दूसरे लड़के ने कहा, “हाँ इस कैंपस में बड़े-बड़े मैदान हैं और जमकर हरियाली भी है।“

वर्मा जी ने कहा, “अरे नहीं, इससे ज्यादा हरियाली तो हमारे गाँव में हुआ करती थी। शहरों में वो बात नहीं है। अब इतनी ज्यादा गाड़ियाँ चलने लगीं हैं कि हर तरफ धुँए का असर होता है।“

वे इसी तरह से बातें करते-करते आगे बढ़ रहे थे कि वर्मा जी के कदम अचानक रुक गये। बाकी लड़के उनके पीछे ठीक उसी तरह रुक गये और एक सुर में पूछा, “क्या हुआ चचा? रुक क्यों गये?”

वर्मा जी ने किसी छोटे बच्चे की तरह किलकारी मारी और बोला, “अरे देखो, एक मरा हुआ कौवा।“

बाकी लड़कों ने कहा, “हे राम! मरा हुआ कौवा। उससे दूर ही रहिए चचा। चलिये चलते हैं यहाँ से।“

वर्मा जी ने कहा, “अरे नहीं। इस मरे हुए कौवे से तो हम बहुत मजा कर सकते हैं।“

बाकी लड़कों ने कहा, “क्या बात है चचा? लगता है आप हमें कोई नई शरारत सिखाएँगे।“

किसी लड़के ने कहा, “पिछली बार आपके कहने पर मैंने उस बुढ़ऊ की धोती खींच दी थी तो घर में बहुत मार पड़ी थी।“

किसी अन्य लड़के ने कहा, “पिछली बार आपके कहने पर मैंने उस गदहे को पकड़ने की कोशिश की थी तो उसकी दुलत्ती खानी पड़ी थी।“

वर्मा जी ने कहा, “अबे तुम सब रह जाओगे डरपोक के डरपोक। तुम्हारी उमर में तो हम वो सब शरारते करते थे कि गाँव के कई बुजुर्ग तो गाँव छोड़कर पूरे दिन खेतों में छुप जाते थे।“

वर्मा जी ने आगे कहा, “:अभी दिखाता हूँ कि यह मरा हुआ कौवा हमारे कितने काम आ सकता है।“

फिर वर्मा जी के इशारे पर एक लड़के ने किसी पेड़ से एक टहनी तोड़ ली। वर्मा जी ने अपने गमछे से अपने सिर को ढ़क लिया। फिर उस टहनी की एक छोर पर उस मरे हुए कौवे को टाँग लिया और आगे की ओर चल पड़े।

उसके बाद तो वहाँ के कौवों में कोहराम मच गया। सभी कौवों ने एक सुर में काँव-काँव करना शुरु कर दिया। लगता था पूरे शहर के कौवे वहीं आ गये थे। वे सभी कौवे बारी-बारी से वर्मा जी के सिर पर झपट्टा मारने की कोशिश कर रहे थे। वर्मा जी बड़ी सफाई से उनसे बच निकलते थे। वर्मा जी आगे-आगे मरे हुए कौवे को टाँगे हुए चल रहे थे। उनके पीछे उनकी वानर सेना हो हल्ला मचाते हुए चल रही थी। और उनका पीछा करते हुए कौवे काँव-काँव कर रहे थे।

जब वे अपने मुहल्ले के पास पहुँचे तो उन्हें देखने के लिए कई लोग अपने घरों से बाहर निकल पड़े। कुछ लोग अपनी छतों पर आ गये तो कुछ अपनी बालकनी में से झाँकने लगे।

पाँडे जी ने हँसते हुए कहा, “अरे वर्मा जी, आपका बचपना तो कभी नहीं जायेगा।“

गुप्ता जी ने गुस्से में कहा, “अरे वर्मा जी, आपने तो मुहल्ले के लड़कों को बिगाड़ कर रख दिया है।“

मिश्राइन ने आँखें मटकाते हुए कहा, “अरे पप्पू के पापा, देखते हो वर्मा जी कैसे अपनी जवानी मेंटेन किए हुए हैं। एक तुम हो जो अभी से बुढ़ऊ की तरह करने लगे हो।“

मिश्रा जी ने झल्लाकर कहा, “अब तुम जैसी बुढ़िया के लिए तो मेरे जैसा बुड्ढ़ा ही सही रहेगा।“

लग रहा था कि वर्मा जी किसी विजय जुलूस की अगुवाई कर रहे थे। वे आगे-आगे और उनकी वानर सेना उनके पीछे। साथ में उनके सिर पर मंडराता कौवों का झुंड। उनके पीछे-पीछे चल रहे लड़कों को पता था कि वर्मा जी के साथ होने के कारण घर में डाँट पड़ने की संभावना न के बराबर थी। इसलिए वे भी पूरे जोशो खरोश के साथ चिल्ला रहे थे।

उसके बाद वर्मा जी का जुलूस उनके आंगन में प्रवेश कर गया। वर्माइन ने एक हाथ से अपना नाक बंद करते हुए दरवाजा खोला और बोलने लगी, “पता नहीं आप कब सुधरेंगे। आपकी वजह से मुझे पूरे मुहल्ले से ताने सुनने पड़ते हैं।“

वर्मा जी ने अपनी पत्नी को अनसुना कर दिया और जीने से होते हुए छत पर पहुँच गये। थोड़ी देर में कौवों की संख्या और भी बढ़ गई। लगता था पूरे शहर के कौवे वर्मा जी की छत पर उतरने को व्याकुल हो रहे थे। वे जितनी बार वर्मा जी के सिर पर झपट्टा मारने की कोशिश कर रहे थे, हर बार वर्मा जी बड़ी चतुराई के साथ बच निकलते थे।

फिर वर्मा जी ने कहा, “अबे सुनो।“

लड़कों ने एक सुर में कहा, “बताइए चचा।“

वर्मा जी ने कहा, “इस कौवे को दारोगा जी की छत पर फेंक दूँ?”

लड़कों ने कहा, “हाँ चचा, वो दारोगा चचा कुछ ज्यादा ही रौब दिखाते हैं।“

फिर क्या था, वर्मा जी ने कौवे को पकड़ा, उसे तेजी से हवा में घुमाया और बगल वाले दारोगा जी की छत परे फेंक दिया। अब उनके ऊपर मंडरा रहे कौवों ने उनका पीछा छोड़ दिया और वे सब जाकर दारोगा जी के छत पर बैठ कर काँव काँव करने लगे।

जब दारोगा जी को पता चला तो वे अपने आंगन में से ही जोर-जोर से चिल्लाने लगे, “इस तरह की कारस्तानी वर्मा जी ही कर सकते हैं। मैं छोड़ूँगा नहीं। पुलिस बुलवाऊँगा। मुकदमा दायर करूँगा।“

वर्मा जी तब तक अपने कमरे में जा चुके थे। वर्माइन ने उनके चेलों को गरमागरम चाय पिलाई। चाय की चुस्कियों के साथ सब मिलकर ठहाका लगा रहे थे और बोल रहे थे, “कसम से चचा, मजा आ गया।“ 

I Am on Actuals

Most of the pharmaceutical companies pay some daily allowance to their medical representatives and first line managers. The allowance is given so that the sales guy can manage to pay hotel bill and travel bill (for local commuting). Some of the companies also give some sort of food allowance so that the sales guy can buy food while he is working in the field. As most of the sales guys come from middle class background, so they always try to save some money from the allowance. But some companies reimburse the actual bill once a person gets promoted to become the first line manager. This is done in order to enable the first line manager to stay in a decent hotel and eat better food. Moreover, his laundry bill is also reimbursed so that he need not bother about the meager allowance and can focus on his actual job. This story is about the ‘proper use’ of the facility of reimbursement of the actual bill by a guy who was recently promoted to the post of the first line manager.

Unlike most of his colleagues, that guy was somewhat rustic in his behavior and dress sense. Just after becoming a firs line manager, he went for a joint working in the territory of one of the medical representatives in his team. The medical representative reported to him early in the morning at seven am sharp because they had to go to some interior for work. The moment the medical representative took a seat on the sofa in the hotel room, the manager asked, “Hey would you like to have breakfast?”

The medical representative answered in affirmative. Hearing that, the manager made a call to the receptionist and ordered for breakfast, “We want a full plate of chicken chilly, two plates of omlettes, a full plate of fish fry and two plates of butter toast for breakfast.”

The medical representative was stunned. He said, “Sir, I thought of having something light for breakfast. I think it is going to be too much for two of us.”

The manager replied, “Don’t worry mate. Your old colleague has got a promotion now. I am on the actual; so I no longer need to worry about the bills.”

The medical representative took a plate each of butter toast and omlette and a few pieces from the chicken chilly and fish fry. Rest of the food was gobbled by the manager.

When they came back from the interior, it was the time for lunch. The manager once again called the reception desk and said, “Hi, can you write down my order for lunch? Please send two plates of mutton curry, one plate of chicken tikka, one plate of fish fry, ten pieces of naan and two plates of fried rice. You can send two plates each of gulab jamun and ice cream for dessert.”

The medical representative was a frugal eater and hence said, “Sir, I would take just two naans and a few pieces of chicken tikka for lunch. You can order accordingly. There is no need for ordering so many items.”

The manager said, “Don’t worry mate. Your old colleague has got a promotion now. I am on the actual, so I no longer need to worry about the bills.”

After finishing the lunch, the medical representative went to meet the wholesalers. The manager remained in the hotel to complete his daily quota of the afternoon siesta. The medical representative came back in the evening as they had planned to meet some more doctors in the evening. Looking at him, the manager asked, “Hey, would you like to have something for the evening snacks?”

The representative said, “No, thanks! I am full.”

The manager said, “You are a young guy. You should eat a lot because you need to work really hard. I am not going to hear anything from you. I am going to order for some snacks.”

The manager once again called the reception desk and ordered, “Please send a full plate of chicken chilly, four egg rolls and two coffees for us.”

The medical representative once again said, “Sir, I can have coffee if you insist. But I am not going to eat chickens. I love non-vegetarian food but I usually take a non-vegetarian meal once or twice in a week.”

The manager said, “Don’t worry mate. Your old colleague has got a promotion now. I am on the actual, so I no longer need to worry about the bills.”

After finishing their work, they came back to the hotel at half past nine. While the medical representative was busy preparing his daily report, the manager asked, “Hey, what about dinner? Let me order for the dinner. Would you like to have a couple of beer as well?”

The medical representative said, “Sir, beer would be fine. But please don’t order too many items for dinner.”

The manager once again called the reception counter and said, “Please send four naans, a full plate of plain rice, a full plate of mutton curry, one plate chicken chilly and a plate of fish fry. Yeah, we will have some finger chips for snacks.”

The medical representative had had enough of it. He said, “Sir, I already told you that I don’t want to eat so much. You can order whatever you wish for you. But please spare me from the torture of shoving so much into my stomach.”

The manager once again said, “I am on the actual, ……………..”

The representative interrupted him and said, “So what if you are on the actual? Why are you making your tummy a graveyard for all the dead chickens and fish? It is understandable that the bill is going to be reimbursed by the company. Does it necessitate that you go on eating everything in the name of getting the reimbursement?”

But the manager did not pay heed to his colleague’s advice. Instead, he gorged on everything which he had ordered. He emanated a loud burp after the meal and said good night to the representative.

When the medical representative went to the hotel on the next morning, he found the room door ajar. While he sat on the sofa; waiting for his boss, he could hear the rumbling sound from the bathroom. Within a few moments, the manager came out of the bathroom. He appeared highly exhausted. He said, “I am suffering from diarrhea since night. Can you bring some ORS for me? I have planned to observe a fast for today. But you can order whatever you wish for breakfast. In fact, I am on the actual.” 

Illegal Connection

This story is about the old proverb ‘Unity is strength’; in context of the life of medical representatives. No matter how high they think about themselves, medical representatives are seldom noticed by the mainstream society. People only notice them when they appear to be the hindrance when a patient is waiting for his turn outside a doctor’s chamber. But this incident made many people of the town to acknowledge the existence of a species called ‘Medical Representative’.

This incident happened in Dhanbad; during the mid 1990s. Two medical representatives from two different companies were living in an outhouse as tenant. Their landlord had not taken the proper connection of electricity. He was using hooks to siphon off electricity illegally from the power-line.

Once the state government issued a notice; about its plans to take action against all those who were using illegal means to get electricity supply. After that, there was a raid on their outhouse on a fateful night. Both the guys pleaded with the police team about their innocence. They requested the police to book the landlord but it was of no avail. The police arrested them and immediately put them in the lockup.

Next day, the news spread like a wildfire among the medical representatives. Most of the medical representatives began to gather near the area where most of the government offices were located. Some leaders of the medical representatives’ union were leading the crowd. Almost everyone was dressed in the business attire. The well ironed dresses with shining leather shoes and neckties were somewhat an oddity in the premises of government offices because government employees in most of the small towns are shoddily dressed. Many government employees could be seen in leather slippers; wearing loosely fitting shirts which may not have been tucked inside their trousers. Many of them were even sporting three days’ old stubble on their faces. They appeared to be so overawed by the presence of neatly dressed guys that they allowed all of us to meet our colleagues in the lockup.

Those poor chaps were highly depressed because they had been arrested for no fault of theirs. They pleaded with us to quickly do something to ensure their early release. After that, we came on the main road and all of us sat on the boundary wall of the office premises. One of us ordered a tea-vendor to serve tea to every medical representative present there. Then we collected two rupees from each and paid the bill to the tea seller.

It was a sight worth seeing. About one hundred and twenty people were sitting in a row on the boundary wall. Almost all of them were in formal dresses. Almost equal number of two-wheelers was parked in a parallel row on the roadside. The road; passing through the office premises; is the main road of Dhanbad. It is one of the busiest roads in the town. Most of the people who were passing by were looking at us with deep sense of wonder. Many could also be seen stopping to kill their curiosity.

A small delegation from our team went to the nearby District Hospital to meet the CMO. Even the CMO was closely acquainted with us because he was an important customer for most of the pharmaceuticals companies. He issued a letter on his letterhead; addressed to the SHO of the police station. Based on that letter, the SHO allowed our colleagues to go to the District Hospital for a round of medical checkup.

The doctor made a certificate that those two guys needed bed rest and advised their immediate release from the lockup.

Once we were successful in getting them shifted to the District Hospital, they felt highly relieved. After that, some senior medical representatives held a couple of rounds of negotiations with the lawyers and the police. By that time, even the policemen were convinced of our clout with the medical fraternity. They were also wary of our collective strength. Thus, our pressure forced them to release our colleagues; without framing a charge. 

Hometown Connection

Most of the people have a deep connection with their hometown; at least during initial years after leaving the hometown. I belong to Darbhanga and had spent my formative years in this town. Sometimes, the deep affection with your hometown can give you enriching experience during the journey of life. Once I had been to Kolkata to attend a launch meeting. During one of the evenings, I was taking a stroll near Howrah Bridge; the famous landmark of Kolkata. My two colleagues were also with me. After taking a leisurely walk for some time, we felt an urge to have tea. While we were searching for a tea stall, I could see a rudimentary tea stall on the sidewalk. The person managing the tea stall was in his early thirties. He was fragile in appearance and was of medium height. He was wearing a lungi and banyan. A towel was tied around his head to serve as the quintessential headgear. He had a kerosene stove, a kettle, some glasses and a couple of tin containers in the name of tea stall. His tea stall was highlighting two important aspects of business. The first aspect was how to run a business on a shoe-string budget. And the second aspect was about ways to create the smallest possible carbon footprint.

As I and my colleagues were unable to enjoy the kick from highly sophisticated version of tea being sold in the five star hotel, we decided to enjoy the typical roadside tea. I asked the vendor to make special tea. I requested him to add ginger for extra flavor. I also asked him to boil the tea for a little bit longer to infuse strong essence of tea leaves.

The guy was too happy to cater to our demands. While we were sipping the freshly brewed tea; we were also talking to him. His tone of speaking gave away his roots. I could guess that the tea seller belonged to my hometown or to some village near my hometown.

I asked, “Bhaiya, you appear to belong to Bihar.”

The tea seller replied, “Yes sir, I come from Bihar.”

Emboldened by his answer, I further asked, “Which town from Bihar?”

He replied, “Sir, I belong to Darbhanga.”

I could not conceal my glee and said, “That is great. What a coincidence? I also belong to Darbhanga. It is a great pleasure for me to have tea from a tea seller from Bihar that too in Kolkata.”

After that, I must have talked to the tea seller for at least half an hour. To add more personal touch to our conversation, we shifted to the regional language which is being spoken in Darbhanga. We were talking in Maithili and I enjoyed it thoroughly.

After we finished the tea and I finished the talking, I asked the tea seller, “It was nice talking to you. You make really tasty tea. How much should I pay for the tea?”

The reply of the tea seller was surprising for me. He said, “Sir, you have come from Darbhanga. I feel fortunate to serve tea to a person from my hometown. It does not look nice to charge a bill from my own people. Consider this as a compliment from my side.”

The tone of his voice and the expression on his face was so powerful that I could not refuse to accept his complimentary gift. I could not muster the courage to pay for the tea. I just gave him a hug and said goodbye to him. 

बुढ़ऊ की नसीहत

रात के बारह बज चुके थे। घर के सब लोग या तो सो रहे थे या सोने की तैयारी कर रहे थे। डब्बन, पिंटू, लड्डू और पप्पू की आँखों से नींद गायब थी। वे तो बस सबके सोने का इंतजार कर रहे थे। जैसे ही घर में सन्नाटा सा लगने लगा तो चारों ने एक दूसरे के मोबाइल फोन पर मिस कॉल दिया और फिर ऊपर छत पर जमा हो गये। डब्बन के हाथ में एक भारी झोला था जिसमें बीयर की ठंडी बोतलें रखी हुई थीं। पिंटू के हाथ में एक छोटा सा थैला था जिसमें नमकीन के पैकेट थे। लड्डू ने एक हाथ में चटाई पकड़ी थी और दूसरे हाथ में बर्फ से भरी थैली। सबने चटाई बिछाई और फिर नमकीन के पैकेट और बीयर की बोतलों को करीने से रख दिया। पप्पू ने अपनी जेब में से सिगरेट का पैकेट भी निकाल लिया। उसके बाद चारों ने अपनी पार्टी शुरु कर दी।

डब्बन ने बीयर का पहला घूँट लेते हुए कहा, “आह! ये तो जबरदस्त ठंडा है। सचमुच मजा आ गया।“

पिंटू ने नमकीन मुँह में डालते हुए कहा, “बहुत देर तक इंतजार करना पड़ा। आज तो लग रहा था कि कोई सोने के मूड में ही नहीं था। घर की छत पर बैठकर पीने में जो सुकून मिलता है वह और कहीं नहीं।“

लड्डू ने कहा, “हाँ, पिछली बार याद नहीं है क्या हुआ था? हम उस दुकान के पीछे वाले कूड़े के ढ़ेर पर खड़े होकर पी रहे थे कि दो पुलिस वाले आ गये थे। पाँच सौ रुपए लेने का बाद भी डंडा मार ही दिया था उसने। ऊपर से मुहल्ले में जो थू थू हुई वो अलग।“

पप्पू ने कहा, “अब हम इतने रईस तो हैं नहीं कि जाकर किसी बार में अपने शौक पूरे करें। दोगुने से भी ज्यादा पैसे ऐंठते हैं ये बार वाले। घर में पियो तो लफंगे करार कर दिये जाओ। हमारी तो कोई जिंदगी ही नहीं।“

अभी उनपर बीयर ने रंग जमाना शुरु भी नहीं किया था कि तभी जीने पर से किसी के छत पर आने की आवाज आने लगी। आनन फानन में वे सब कुछ छुपाने की जगह ही ढ़ूँढ़ रहे थे कि देखा कि उनके सत्तर वर्षीय दादाजी छत पर उदित हो गये। दादाजी तो गुस्से से काँप रहे थे। वे बोले, “अबे नालायकों, शर्म नहीं आती। शरीफों के घर में क्या कर रहे हो? तुम्हारी वजस से पूरे मुहल्ले में नाक कट जाएगी।“

अब तो चारों रंगे हाथ पकड़े गये थे। बहाने बनाने का कोई फायदा नहीं था। पप्पू ने कहा, “दादाजी, कुछ नहीं बस यूँ ही थोड़ा मन बहला रहे थे। अब गर्मी भी तो बहुत पड़ रही है।“

लड्डू ने कहा, “बीयर कोई हार्ड ड्रिंक थोड़े ही है। इतना तो चलता है।“

दादाजी ने कहा, “मैं अभी तुम्हारे बापों को जगाता हूँ। जब डंडे पड़ेंगे तो सारी गर्मी निकल जाएगी। जानता नहीं कि शराब की लत कितनी खराब होती है?“

डब्बन ने कहा, “लेकिन मैने सुना है कि अपनी जवानी में तो आप भी महुआ वाली शराब ले लिया करते थे। दादी ने बताया था एक बार।“

दादाजी ने कहा, “हाँ जवानी में गलती कर दी थी। लेकिन जैसे ही अपनी भूल का पता चला, फिर सब छोड़ दिया। अब वह गलती मैं तुम्हें हरगिज नहीं करने दूँगा।“

पिंटू ने कहा, “दादाजी, कम से कम जवानी में तो हमें गलतियाँ करने का मौका दीजिये। हम भी जब आपकी तरह बूढ़े हो जाएँगे तो छोड़ देंगे।“

तभी दादाजी ने कहा, “अरे बाप रे, तुमलोग तो सिगरेट भी पी रहे हो। शर्म नहीं आती।“

लड्डू ने कहा, “और आप जो हुक्का पीते हैं तो कुछ नहीं।“

दादाजी ने कहा, “अपने दादा से बहस लड़ाता है। शर्म नहीं आती?“

डब्बन ने कहा, “दादाजी, अब आप ही कोई रास्ता बताएँ। घर में पी नहीं सकते क्योंकि आपकी नाक कटती है। बार में पी नहीं सकते क्योंकि महँगी मिलती है। चौराहे पर पी नहीं सकते क्योंकि मुहल्ले की नाक कटती है। हमारी उमर के लड़के पी नहीं सकते और आपकी उमर के लोगों को पीना नहीं चाहिए। तो फिर ये दुकान वाले बेचते किसके लिये हैं? आप तो बिल्कुल नीतीश कुमार की तरह बरताव कर रहे हैं।”

फिर दादाजी ने कुछ नहीं कहा और चुपचाप वापस नीचे चले गये। 

Too Much Sales!

Achieving sales target for a particular product cannot be enough. The sales which may be enough for an over-budget performance for one guy may not be even sufficient to save the job of another guy. Sales budget is a relative thing which depends on many factors; like the company, product, territory, past performance, etc. But I can vouch about one thing. Sales budget of big companies is usually on a higher side compared to the sales budget of small companies. Sometimes, the sales budget of a medical representative (of a big company) can be way beyond the sales budget of a first line manager of a small company. Nevertheless, people celebrate in their own way whenever they meet or surpass their targets. Celebration is good for further motivation of the concerned person but it should not annoy any other person. This story is related to such incident in which a celebration for one can become an irritation for another.

I was posted at Faizabad where two other PSOs and a DM were also based along with me. Once I was sitting at a wholesaler along with my senior PSO. The senior guy was a Bengali with rudimentary knowledge of Hindi. Moreover, he was somewhat reserved in nature and seldom talked to unknown person. While we were sitting there, a young medical representative from some small company came there. He paid his due respect to our Dada and said with a sense of jubilation, “Dada! Do you know how much protein powder I have sold this month?

Dada was maintaining a poker face and said in his baritone voice, “How do I know unless you tell me?”

That guy said, “I have sold five hundred tins of our protein powder this month. Isn’t it great?”

Dada had been maintaining the same stoic face and told, “Hmm! It is good. Congrats.”

That guy was probably expecting some pat on his back or at least somewhat enthusiastic response from our Dada. Failing to get the desired response, the guy left the shop in a hurry and could be seen slowly trundling down the street.

I took that as a one off incident. But the guy kept on popping his head in the market whenever he met our Dada. Every time, he used to make same statement, “Dada! This month I have sold 300 tins of our protein powder. Dada, I have booked 20 tins of protein powder from Mishra Medical Stores. Dada, I am the regional topper for selling our protein powder.”

Every time, he got the same cold response from Dada; which was further accentuated by the cold glare which Dada gave to him through high-powered thick glasses. Since I was new in that territory, so I never made a comment. I was just playing the role of a mute spectator.

One day, the guy probably crossed the threshold of Dada’s patience. We were waiting for our turn outside the clinic of a doctor. That guy also appeared in front of us and kept his detailing bag on the bench. While we were gossiping to kill time, the guy popped his head and said, “Dada! Do you know? I have sold 600 tins of protein powder.”

Dada gave the same cold response to him, “Good! Well Done!”

The guy was probably fed up of Dada’s cold response. He said, “Dada, I have been sharing with you many good news of my performance. But you have always given me a cold response. You should have at least given me a pat on the back if not a high five. You appear to be annoyed by me.”

Dada said, “Listen you greenhorn. You cannot be my chum because of the huge age gap between us. So, don’t expect that I will hug you. Whatever you are doing is fine. You are overshooting your target and getting a good name in your company. It will boost your career. But why should I bother about your performance. I am not your friend, not your local guardian and I am not even your boss. Moreover, before jumping in joy in front of me you should have confirmed about the sales figure of Protinex. You must be aware that Protinex is our brand of protein. There are many retailers who end up selling 500 tins of Protinex in a month. Do you know my budget for Protinex? It is much higher than the budget of your second line manager. It was ok when you shared your achievements for the first time. But doing it repetitively can end up annoying anybody. Hope you will understand the reason for my cold response.” 

New Recruit

A new recruit can be a bundle of nerves in any job. This is especially true for the sales because there is so much pressure to learn very quickly. I have observed that seasoned managers do not say anything to a new recruit for the initial six months. This period is considered to be a baptism with fire and there is always a risk of the medical representative leaving his job during this period. No manager would like to see the money spent on training going down the drain by premature resignation of a new recruit. So, a new recruit is always treated with kid’s gloves during this period. This story is about the deep sense of dejection I felt on my second day on the job. This story is also about how a simpleton helped me in not making the blunder of leaving my job.

On that fateful day, I must have called four or five doctors since morning. To my immature mind, all those calls appeared to be highly successful because I was able to narrate my sales pitch without much hiccup. After that I went to meet a topnotch physician in the market. There was a big crowd of patients waiting for their turns. I gave my visiting card to the compounder. Within five minutes, the compounder asked me to go inside the clinic to meet the doctor.

I went inside the doctor’s chamber, wished the doctor in the most courteous way and took a seat in front of him. Everything was going fine till now. The doctor was in his late fifties. He was wearing striped shirt and a nice tie. His bespectacled face further added to his aura. In front of him was a greenhorn who was barely twenty two years old. I took out my visual aid and began to vomit out what was taught to me in the name of sales pitch. The moment I started, the doctor interrupted and said, “You appear to be a new guy.”

His tone did not sound friendly at all. I fumbled and said, “Yyyes Sir!”

The doctor’s tone became even drier, “It appears that your managers have not taught you how to talk to a senior doctor. You should be aware that I don’t meet medical representatives during daytime. If you want to meet me then come to my clinic after eight in the evening.”

I said, “But I came here by following the protocol. First I sent my visiting card through your compounder. I came inside only when you called me in. If you don’t meet medical representatives during daytime then you could have sent this message through your compounder.”

I think I was talking sense. But a fifty year old person with vast experience, good qualification and high prestige in the society may not swallow the fact that a guy in his twenties with a bachelor in science and working at the lowest rung in a private company is trying to argue with him. The doctor was furious at me and said, “Get lost from here.”

I had no other way than to leave his chamber. I was shocked and was in deep mental agony. I straightaway reached my hotel room from his clinic. Within a few minutes, I packed my bags and was ready to leave that city and the job forever.

When I went at the reception counter, the receptionist asked, “What happened? Did you find a house? Are you shifting to a rented house?”

I said, “No, I am leaving this job and going back to my hometown.”

That receptionist was an old man. He must have seen many new recruits coming to his hotel to spend their initial days after joining the job. The hotel was mainly frequented by sales guys; especially the new recruits. The old man gave me a glass of water and ordered a cup of tea for me. He asked me to sit down and said, “Calm down. Tell me what happened.”

I narrated the whole incident to him. He said, “It happens when you are new. Don’t take a hasty decision. Finding a job; that too in a good company; is not easy these days. Majority of people; who are even five years older than you, are struggling to find a job. Sticking to a job is much difficult than leaving a job but that is the way to go ahead.”

I was adamant and said, “No, I am intelligent enough to find even better jobs. But I am not going to stay in this profession. This is not my cup of tea.”

The old man tried to keep me engaged in endless discussions. After about half an hour, he said, “The train to your home town must have left the station by now. Stay here for tonight. Have a sound sleep. You can leave for your hometown tomorrow if you wish. But I am sure you will change your decision by tomorrow morning.”

I still remember that old man with a sense of gratitude.