Karnataka Chief Minister Siddaramaiah is a nervous wreck
these days. He is too horrified to even utter a single word; after what
happened to him at a public function. Had it been a private function, he could
have carried it with aplomb. All his reputation; earned after so many years of
hard work; has suddenly burst like a fully inflated balloon. He is too ashamed
to flaunt his 56 inch chest in public. To add insult to his injury, Pahlaj
Nihalani is planning to censor all the press clippings and viral video of a
woman kissing the Karnataka Chief Minister.
According to highly reliable sources, Siddaramaiah has
secretly held a meeting with Somnath Bharti. Both of them are planning to form
a National Commission for Men (NCM) with its head offices near the party office
of Aam Admi Party. Even Salman Khan has assured them to join in their fight for
the dignity of men. The newly formed NCM will look into cases pertaining to
hurt dignity and sentiment of the male species in India. But they are facing an
uphill task because National Commission for Women is against this idea.
With powerful male politicians at its helm, the proposed
National Commission for Men begins its work without even setting a proper
office. Within 24 hours, they get huge response from the common men of the
country. There are many complaints regarding harassment of men by the females
of the country. Our chief correspondent could lay his hands on some of the
complaint letters which reached the office of NCM. Some excerpts are given
below:
This is a complaint from a man from Bihar: “I was deeply
addicted to the country liquor. I believe I was right because it promoted the
Swadeshi industry; which even Baba Ramdev would approve. But my wife joined
hands with several other women who rallied behind prohibition policy of Nitish
Kumar. Unable to get my daily fix, I am just a disheveled heap of bones and
muscles. My productivity is at its lowest. Please help.”
This is a complaint from a man from Delhi: “I was in a live
in relationship with highly successful software professional. The lady always
pressed me for an early marriage but I refused so that we could carry on with
our independent lives. The woman has lodged an FIR; claiming harassment in the
garb of false promise of marriage. I am a mama’s boy and cannot marry against
my mother’s wishes. Isn’t it a show of respect for the womankind? But this lady
has no respect for my mother. Please help.”
This is complaint from a doctor from a district hospital of
a small town in Uttar Pradesh: “The lady in question was deeply in love with
me. I tolerated her advances for many years. When I refused her marriage
proposal, the lady threw acid at my face. My badly mutilated face has badly
mutilated my clinical practice. What to do?”
This is a complaint from a superstar from the Bollywood film
industry: “I have complaint against almost all the women of this country. I tried
to make loveable relationship with many leading ladies of my fraternity. All of
them ditched me midway and went on to pursue their own married lives. Even at
the ripe age of fifty, I am unable to find a suitable match. Even the
matrimonial classifieds have refused to carry my advertisement. Somehow, when I
managed to get hold of a lady; these mediapersons are trying to spoil my last
chance of finding a suitable bride.”
This is a complaint from a man who is working as a Sales
Representative: “Because of my job, I need to travel on my bike for at least 10
hours in a day. When I come back to my home; I have no energy left to do
anything. But my wife expects me to make a cup of coffee for her. She also
wants me to take her for a ride. I am suffering from low performance not only
in my sales but also in my personal life. It appears to me that all through the
seven years of my married life, my wife has been taking me for a ride. She spends
most of my income on her makeup and new dresses. Please help me to get out of
this mess.”
