एक पेंगुइन की मौत

“क्या पेंगुइन की मौत किसी इंफेक्शन की वजह से हुई?”

“क्या पेंगुइन की मौत अधिकारियों की उदासीनता के कारण हुई?”

“क्या पेंगुइन ने आत्महत्या की?”

टीवी एंकर चीख चीख कर दर्शकों को झकझोरने की कोशिश कर रही थी। साथ में किसी मशहूर कार्टून फिल्म के एनिमेशन चल रहे थे जिसमें हजारों पेंगुइन को अंटार्कटिका में धमाचौकड़ी मचाते हुए दिखाया जा रहा था। मेरी समझ में नहीं आ रहा था कि अंटार्कटिका में पेंगुइन की मौत से दिल्ली के टीवी स्टूडियो में बैठे एंकर क्यों परेशान हो रहे थे। थोड़ी देर तक ध्यान से टीवी देखने के बाद दो बातें साफ हो गईं। पहली बात कि मुम्बई के किसी चिड़ियाघर में किसी पेंगुइन की मौत हो गई थी। दूसरी बात कि दिल्ली के टीवी चैनल वालों के पास इतनी जल्दी मुम्बई के चिड़ियाघर से फूटेज लाना संभव नहीं था इसलिए किसी कार्टून फिल्म से ही काम चला रहे थे। अब यह कोई मयूर विहार या अक्षरधाम मंदिर या डीएनडी से घने कोहरे को दिखाने जैसा आसान तो था नहीं कि लपक कर कोई कैमरामैन जाता और विडियो बनाकर ले आता।

थोड़ी देर बाद कांग्रेस के किसी गुमनाम नेता को टीवी पर दिखाया जाने लगा। वह नेता बृहनमुम्बई महानगरपालिका के अधिकारियों पर भ्रष्टाचार के आरोप लगा रहा था। उसका कहना था कि पेंगुइन को अंटार्कटिका से लाने में और फिर उनके रखरखाव की सुविधाएँ बनाने में करोड़ों का भ्रष्टाचार हुआ है। वह इस प्रकरण की सीबीआई जाँच की माँग कर रहा था। जब उत्तर प्रदेश के किसी मंत्री की भैंस गुम हो जाने पर सीबीआई जाँच की माँग उठ सकती है तो फिर पेंगुइन की मौत पर क्यों नहीं।

थोड़ी देर बात एक और ब्रेकिंग न्यूज आने लगा कि राहुल गांधी अपने दलबल के साथ अन्य पेंगुइनों से मिलने मुम्बई के चिड़ियाघर पहुँच चुके हैं। उसके बाद पता चला कि मुम्बई पुलिस ने राहुल गांधी को गिरफ्तार कर लिया। मुम्बई पुलिस के एक आला अधिकारी टीवी पर कह रहे थे कि सुरक्षा कारणों से राहुल गांधी को गिरफ्तार करना जरूरी हो गया था।

जब राहुल गांधी गिरफ्तार हो गये तो फिर भला अरविंद केजरीवाल कहाँ पीछे रहने वाले थे। उन्होंने मनीष सिसोदिया को आगे आगे भेजा और फिर पीछे पीछे खुद चल पड़े। जब मनीष सिसोदिया ने इस बात की पुष्टि की कि पुलिस केवल गिरफ्तार कर रही है और शारीरिक प्रताड़ना नहीं दे रही तो फिर अरविंद केजरीवाल भी जाकर गिरफ्तार हो गये।

अब तो टीवी चैनल वालों की जैसे लॉट्री निकल गई। पूरे दिन के लिए एक से बढ़कर एक ब्रेकिंग न्यूज का जुगाड़ हो गया। उधर अरविंद केजरीवाल ट्वीट कर रहे थे कि उन्हें किसी अज्ञात जगह पर ले जाया जा रहा था। इधर टीवी चैनल वाले राहुल गांधी को पुलिस की जीप में सवार होते हुए दिखा रहे थे।

पुलिस की जीप में बैठे बैठे ही राहुल गांधी ने टीवी चैनल वालों को इंटरव्यू भी दिया, “ये कैसा हिंदुस्तान बना रहे हैं हम। जिस देश में एक पेंगुइन की सुरक्षा की गारंटी नहीं है उस देश में जनता कैसे सुरक्षित रह सकती है। हम चाहते हैं की पीएम को पेंगुइन की मौत के लिए माफी मांगनी चाहिए। उसे शहीद का दर्जा देना चाहिए।“

थोड़ी देर के बाद एक और ब्रेकिंग न्यूज आई कि पेंगुइन ने आत्महत्या की थी। इसकी पुष्टि तब हुई जब पेंगुइन के बाड़े से सल्फास की एक बोतल बरामद हुई। दरअसल वह पेंगुइन हिंदुस्तान के गर्म माहौल से विक्षिप्त हो गया था। पेंगुइन के आवासीय परिसर में जो एयर कंडीशनर लगा था वह इतना तगड़ा नहीं था कि बर्फ जमा सके। बेचारे पेंगुइन को इस बात का डिप्रेशन हो रहा था कि वह कई महीनों से आइस स्केटिंग नहीं कर पाया था। इसलिए अपने हालात से तंग आकर उसने खुदकुशी करने का निर्णय लिया।

यह खबर सुनते ही सत्ताधारी दल के एक बड़े ही काबिल मंत्री ने अपना बयान जारी कर दिया, “वह पेंगुइन मर गया इसका हमें बेहद अफसोस है। लेकिन किसी भी निष्कर्ष पर पहुँचने से पहले पेंगुइन के दिमागी हालत की जाँच होनी चाहिए। हो सकता है कि मानसिक संतुलन बिगड़ने के कारण उसने आत्महत्या की होगी। यदि उसकी खुदकुशी की पुष्टि हो जाती है तो फिर उसे शहीद का दर्जा मिलने का सवाल ही नहीं उठता। मैं पूरी जिम्मेवारी के साथ कह सकता हूँ कि एयर कंडीशनर बनाने में हम दुनिया के अग्रणी देशों से टक्कर ले सकते हैं। मेरे कमरे में लगा एसी तो मेरी कुल्फी जमा देता है।“

उसके बाद मंत्री जी ने अपने बयान में यह छौंका भी लगा दिया, “सूत्रों से पता चला है कि वह पेंगुइन चिड़ियाघर में हुए सरपंच के चुनाव में कांग्रेस के टिकट से लड़ा था। इस तरह से वह एक कांग्रेसी कार्यकर्ता हुआ। इस तरह से उस पेंगुइन की मौत भारत को कांग्रेस मुक्त बनाने की दिशा में एक ठोस कदम है।“

मंत्री जी के इतना कहते ही सारे देशभक्त टीवी चैनल देशद्रोहियों के खिलाफ आग उगलने लगे। आनन फानन में सभी चैनलों पर पैनल बन गये और वाद विवाद प्रतियोगिता शुरु हो गई। पैनल पर शिरकत कर रहे कुछ विद्वानों ने ये तक कह दिया कि चूँकि वह पेंगुइन विदेश से आया था इसलिए उसका स्वर्ग सिधारना ही उचित था। देशभक्ति से लबरेज इस माहौल में यही उचित होगा कि हम स्थानीय पशु पक्षी से अपने चिड़ियाघर को सजाएँ और विदेशी पशु पक्षियों का सार्वजनिक बहिष्कार करें।

Party Time With a Doctor

Pharmaceutical companies usually conduct group meetings which are technically called CME programmes. The idea behind such programmes is to buy some extra time and buy a captive audience for the company so that a detailed discussion about a particular product can be facilitated. But in practice, it all translates to wining and dining for the doctors at company's expenses. This is done in the hope of getting a more pliable pair of ears when the medical representative goes to meet a doctor on his next call. Everything boils down to expectation of increased prescriptions and increases sales from the target doctors.

My company came with an idea to a more pin pointed approach to this tactics; by conducting one to one meeting of some topnotch doctors in the territory. It was assumed that it would give a focused attention to the doctor and it would help in cracking even the hard to crack customers. The target doctors for such activity were carefully selected and mainly included opinion makers from the market.

In one of my territories, I invited a Head of Department from Medicine from the local medical college for such a meeting. My boss was also with me; because at that time I was still a greenhorn. I was not mature enough to handle such assignment independently.

I and my boss were staying in a decent hotel of the town. We had invited that doctor to the same hotel. Since it was a one to one meeting so there was no need to book a separate venue for the meeting. My boss's room served as the venue of the meeting.

I was waiting at the entrance of the hotel to welcome that doctor. While I was looking for a suitable parking space for his car, I was surprised to see him coming on a cycle-rickshaw. The doctor said that he did not want to drive while drunk so he preferred the cycle-rickshaw. I was pleased with his sense of responsibility and his understanding about the problems with drunken driving.

The doctor came at the right time as per his commitment; which was quite strange considering the habit of Indian Stretchable Time (IST). The doctor was in his early fifties. He was tall, dark but not so handsome. His ugly looks came partly because of his rough skin and partly because of plenty of fat at wrong places all over his body. Nevertheless, the doctor was wearing all white dress; including white shoes and socks. He must have been a great fan of the cine star of the sixties, aka Jitendra. The red tie provided the contrast against the white backdrop of his dress. The red tie also complimented with copious amount of betel juice dripping from the sides of his lips.

Once we were inside the room, my manager began with making pegs of whisky for all of us. When the manager was measuring exactly 30 ml for a peg, the doctor said that he preferred the extra large variety, i.e. Patiala Peg. My boss duly obliged him. That is how the endless round of booze started for the so-called one to one CME. Our discussions mainly veered around sundry political issues and on gossips about film celebrities. My boss was smart enough to add some sprinkling of product, indications, contraindications, etc. to that discussion. Once the doctor had gobbled about four pegs of whisky, he was at his savage best. He began uttering gory details of wrongdoings of many of his colleagues. He was least afraid of many skeletons tumbling down the cupboard because of the friendly image of pharmaceutical sales professionals. He also talked about his escapades when he was a student of the medical college.

When the doctor's body was fully concentrated with alcohol and could not take any more of it, we ordered for dinner. The doctor asked for a full plate of tandoori chicken. Within a few minutes, I could see a heap of bones in his plate. He also gobbled a lot of butter nan and at least four scoops of ice-cream.

After the heady cocktail of whisky and heavy food, the doctor did not appear to be in his senses. On his demand, I also arranged for betel for him. The tobacco; along with betel; created too many problems for his nerve cells. This was evident from all the nasty talks which were coming from his mouth.

I was getting worried about his safety. My boss asked me to drop that doctor to his residence but I refused. I refused because his residence was at least 10 km away from that hotel and it was quite unsafe in that town to roam on a cycle-rickshaw during late night. Sensing our plight, the doctor came to my rescue. He said that he was confident of safely reaching is home. He said that he was a well known face in the town so he would get timely help if a need arose.

After that, we came out of the room. Some waiters were watching us and were trying to hide their smile. From the room, we moved towards the staircase. Once on the staircase, it did not take too much effort for the doctor to come down to the ground floor because he simply slipped and slid down to the ground floor. It was difficult for me to control my laughter. A few waiters came to our help. They helped the doctor to stand on his feet.

Once outside the hotel, I called a rickshaw puller. We somehow managed to load the doctor on the cycle rickshaw. I gave double amount of money than whatever was demanded by the rickshaw puller. He said that he knew that doctor so I did not need to worry.

Once the rickshaw was out of our sight, I and my boss burst into a huge round of laughter. 

Diwali in a Small Balcony

My ten year old son is full of energy today. In spite of no school, he got up quite early in the morning because he can hardly wait to celebrate Diwali. I have planned to go for shopping for Diwali and Dhanteras during the first half of the day just to beat the overcrowding in the market and heavy traffic on the road. 

After buying sundry items of daily needs, we shifted our attention to the real Diwali shopping. We bought idols of Ganesha and Lakshmi and then were browsing through the racks of decorative light. All the colourful lights bore the tell tale marks of ‘Made in China’ products. Some of the decorative lights were probably made in India but they were not of good quality and were highly priced. I settled for saving some money by opting for the ‘Made in China’ variety and meekly worried my patriotic feelings. It is needless to mention that my patriotic feeling had developed quite strong over the last week; after reading so many articles on boycott of Chinese goods.

After that, it was the turn of firecrackers. Once again, the Chinese firecrackers beat the Indian ones in terms of price and quality. Moreover, most of the shopkeepers were keeping only the China made firecrackers. It is altogether a different matter that huge banners were fluttering throughout the market; boldly displaying messages to boycott the Chinese crackers.

Then we shifted our attention to ‘Diya’ or earthen lamps. I had earlier received many forwarded messages on Facebook and Whatsapp; advocating the virtues of buying earthen lamps. Some of the messages talked about supporting the poor artisans who make such lamps. Some of them even went overboard and told that using earthen lamps would help in reducing pollution. My rudimentary knowledge of science tells that when any fuel is burnt, it is going to create air pollution. I am sure a ‘Diya’ does not come with electrostatic precipitators or catalytic converters to reduce air pollution or suspended particulate matters. In spite of that we ended up buying 50 pieces of diyas which could be enough for out five feet by three feet balcony. My wife suggested me to buy a few packs of candles as well because using a diya can be quite messy. So, I had to concede to her demand and I ended up buying a few packs of candles as well. I was thinking of the decorative lights which I had purchased earlier. I was thinking of the futility of buying so many options to lighten up our small balcony. It appeared to be a sheer wastage of money. I discussed the matter with my wife because I wanted to save some money by returning the decorative lights. My son; who was overhearing our discussions showed his adamant attitude. He said that it would give a bad appearance if one of the flats in the housing society would be devoid of decorative light. He said that it would demean his image among his friends. So, I had to cede to the demand of the generation X.

Now, it was the turn of shopping for Dhanteras. My wife suggested that we should by a new ‘Pooja Thali’ because shopping for Dhanters won’t be complete without that. There were numerous decorated thalis on display on one of the racks. We bought a thali which cost us five hundred rupees. I have no problem to admit that the beautiful floral motif on the thali was worth the price which I paid for the thali. Then my wife said that elders say that one must buy a utensil on this auspicious day. I suggested me to go for a set of spoons; in order to keep the expenses down. But my wife was craving to buy a fancy dinner set. She believes that a fancy dinner set does wonders to lift your esteem in front of guests. So, we bought a ceramic dinner set which further depleted my cash reserves by Rs. 3000. After that, my wife said that a Dhanteras shopping would be incomplete unless you buy a gold coin. She said that offering a gold coin to the idols of Lakshmi does wonders to your income. I did not have the courage to refuse the dictum of the Ministry of Home Affairs, so we also bought a gold coin. It was a much smaller coin which cost us only five thousand rupees. Deep inside, I was writhing in pain on my eventual ‘diwala’ on the day of Diwali.

Our two BHK flat has a solitary balcony. This is the only part of the house which is visible to the outside world and hence needs the maximum decoration on Diwali. The rooms, the hall and the kitchen have little space for decoration. Moreover, safety concerns also prohibit us from burning any diya or firecracker in the house; except in the balcony. My wife promptly made a beautiful rangoli by using stencils and coloured powder. The ragnoli is bang in the centre of the balcony. Decorative lights were suspended in neat rows from the railing of the balcony. The concrete skirting of the balcony provided the place of pride to the diyas. Then, the next row was occupied by the candles. This left little space for the fireworks. Nonetheless, my son utilized that small space to show his pyrotechnics and my little family had a wonderful Diwali celebration. 

Paradigm Shift

Most of the big companies spend lot of money and time on training of their sales force. From the perspective of Human Resource Management, this can be termed as continuous endeavour at skill enhancement. But from a layman’s perspective, it is like adding some spice to otherwise mundane life of a sales guy. Sales representatives are usually all alone on their duty; unlike their counterparts in office jobs. So, a sales guy has to withstand all the pressures and pleasures all alone. Intermittent review meetings or motivational trainings work as the much needed respite from the drudgery of a routine sales call. This story is about one such meeting which was held in the holy city of Varanasi.

There was nothing holy about the venue or topic of the meeting. The venue was a five-star hotel from a reputed brand and the topic was about paradigm shift. The meeting was attended by about 30 odd people and the group was composed of teams of three District Managers of a Pharmaceutical company.

The meeting was conducted by the Regional Sales Manager but the main speaker was some management guru who was not on the payroll of the company. It was quite strange because sales guys only listen to their immediate superiors or at times to senior management people from the company. They seldom listen to anybody who is not going to affect their appraisal in any direct or indirect way.

Nevertheless, the management guru was somewhat less than a celebrity, so there was no chance of him appearing on any television channel. He was not even popular on YouTube; which is overcrowded with so many videos on self-motivation by self acclaimed motivational gurus. In simple terms, he was an unknown face for most of the guys who had been there to attend that meeting.

After the customary welcome address, the podium was handed over to the guest speaker. He was flashing a sincere smile and started delivering his lecture, “You should consider yourself fortunate that your organization has given you this once in a lifetime opportunity to learn about new insights in the way you go about your daily job. Today, we are going to discuss about ‘PARADIGM SHIFT’. Before understanding about the paradigm shift we need to understand the meaning of paradigm. The dictionary definition says about paradigm as the framework of certain basic assumptions and ways of working which a particular group of people follows in routine way. All of you appear to be intelligent enough. Does anybody want to contribute on the meaning of paradigm?”

Sunil was the first to stand up to answer that question. Sunil was famous for speaking on every topic; no matter how little he understood about that topic. Sunil said, “Sir, I think it is about changing the layout of the online form through which we submit our daily call report.”

The guest speaker just smiled at hearing that answer and said, “Nice try. Anybody else?”

Rakesh was considered the most bookish guy in the team. People often used to say that he had read a lot more than what was needed for a medical representative. Rakesh said, ”Yes sir, I think I can explain it in a better way. Paradigm is the way you take things for granted. Paradigm is the way you follow your master calling list, your tour programme, your sample consignment and last but not the least; you follow the directive from your district manager.”

Rakesh’s District Manager was too pleased to control his urge to elaborate on the issue. Vimal; the District Manager; was famous for putting any complex topic in the most simple way. He said, “Listen guys, this term is not as complex as it sounds. I know that we are not literary kind of people. Can you recall what we do before going to meet a doctor? We normally conduct the survey of a few nearby chemists to understand the prescription pattern of that doctor. Based on that feedback we plan our call strategy and implement it inside the doctor’s chamber. This is the set precedent which we follow during our working. This is a very good example of paradigm.”

Every member from Vimal’s team clapped as a gesture of appreciation for Vimal’s answer. Even the regional manager gave some words of encouragement to Vimal.

After that, the main speaker asked the participants to quote some examples of some medical representatives from any company to show how some people were trying to shift from paradigm.

As usual; Sunil was the first to come with an example. Sunil said, “Sir, there is a guy in my territory; working for Aristo pharma. You must be aware that medical representatives usually start early in the morning if they have to go to an interior for work. But the guy (from Aristo) starts late in the evening; to go to an interior. He has made good relations in interior towns. He stays at the house of any big chemist and spends his night there. I think because of his different approach, he is the top seller in my territory. The sale of Aristo in my town is more than even that of Pfizer or Glaxo.”

Rakesh did not appear to be pleased with that statement. He interrupted Sunil, “What does he do during his night stay at the chemist’s house? Is he negotiating for his marriage? Shifting from paradigm does not mean that I should start walking on my hands with my head upside down. Does it mean that I should enter a doctor’s chamber walking in reverse gear; just to catch his attention?”

Rakesh further continued, “Sir, I fear that my district manager would announce a directive asking everybody to go to an interior during late evening; just to show to his bosses that he has implemented the ‘paradigm shift’ in right spirit. I am not going to buy this argument.”

Rakesh’s comment was followed by lot of hue and cry from every representative. The situation was getting out of control. The main speaker was at his wit’s end. Finally, a booming voice from the regional manager could calm down the people. He said, “Ok guys, let us break for lunch. Our guest speaker would show you the real meaning of paradigm shift through an interesting puppet show. We have specially called the puppeteers from Rajasthan for this purpose.”  

Everyone was happy to hear about lunch break. While they were having lunch, Vimal asked his team members, “Hey guys, this meeting is going to be over by today evening. After that, all of you would be rushing for your buses and trains. So, let me utilize this time. How much sales are you going to do for this month?”

Rakesh said with a deadpan face, “Sir, let us shift from the paradigm for this month. I will do zero sales in order to show a good example of paradigm shift.” 

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Physician's Sample

All the pharmaceutical companies give physician's sample to their medical representatives to promote different products. Samples of some established brands are also given in order to 'oblige' a doctor. But more often than not, the physician's sample reach different hands rather than reaching to the actual physicians. Undercutting of rates, greedy doctors, greedy chemists, infiltration from other territories, unreasonable sales budget and somewhat lethargic sales representatives are some of the reasons for this situation. The list; I have mentioned; may not be a complete one and hence you are free to make your own addition and deletion. This story is about the so called 'judicious' use of physician's sample.

Once upon a time, all the representatives were given some units of a hotcake product. But those units were not from the physician's sample lot rather they were the actual market pack; with MRP neatly written on them. While giving the medicine 'XYZ' to us our first line manager told us to 'judiciously' use them. Almost all of us accepted the packets with child like glee. And I am sure that most of us must have used them quite judiciously.

After about a couple of months of that incident all the representatives of the region converged to a major town for cycle meeting. Such meetings often happen to review the sales situation so that timely corrective actions could be taken to meet or surpass the sales budget.

On the first day of the meeting, I was getting ready when I got a call on the intercom. It was my first line manager. He told me to meet him in room number 302 after finishing breakfast. Once I was in the restaurant; looking for something light for breakfast; I got to know that all the other representatives had got similar massage from their bosses. What was surprising was that all of them had been called to the same room, i.e. room number 302.

The moment I entered the room number 302, my first line manager asked me, "Can you recall that I gave you 100 units of market pack of XYZ about two months back?"

I asked with a sense of surprise, "Yeah, I can. Do you want them back?"

My boss said, "No, I just want to know how did you utilise them."

The room was full of other first line managers from the region and many representatives as well. I nonchalantly replied, "I gave them to Rakesh."

My boss appeared to be surprised and said, "What? You gave it to Rakesh; your wholesaler? Why?"

I calmly replied, "It was of short expiry. I gave it to him so that he could use them judiciously. As simple as that."

My boss said, "Actually, some big guns from the head office have come to attend this meeting. You are not supposed to give this answer in front of them."

I guffawed at his statement and said, "Now you have given me the guess question, so it is your duty to tell me the correct answer which I am supposed to give."

My boss explained to me the ideal answer to that tricky question. The same answer was spoon-fed to all other medical representatives.

After that pre-meeting planning, the meeting began at 9 AM. The first line manager from Kanpur was the first to speak. He was wearing spotless white shirt from a costly brand. The polka dot tie on the shirt spoke of his sense of fashion. He was using a highly literary language as if he was addressing the General Assembly of the United Nations. Everyone appeared to be taking keen interest in his speech but in reality nobody was taking him seriously. Finally, he came to the crux of the matter and said, "Sir, let me talk about the real 'innovative' use of the market pack of XYZ which was given to each team in this region. All of my representatives went to the district hospital and different guys went to different departments to conduct the blitz campaign. We made an interesting story so that the doctor could hear. We told the doctor that it was the birthday of our product XYZ and hence our company was generous enough to give market pack for his patients. We asked the doctor to prescribe XYZ to his patients for at least 15 days. Five days' dose was given from our side............."

On his clue, the senior-most representative from his team flashed a transparent zipper pouch; with XYZ tablets inside. He said, "Sir, that is how we gave these tablets to each patient to whom the doctor had prescribed XYZ. The senior guy was duly followed by other representatives in the team and everybody repeated the same ritual.

Hearing that, the hitherto silent audience erupted in a huge round of applause. The customary round of applause was followed by almost similar presentation of the first line manager and his team from another headquarter. We also repeated the same ritual when it was the turn of our team.

After that, the national sales manager brought a wry smile on his face and said, "I am overawed with your commitment to core values which you should always follow as great employee of this great company. It is heartening to see that all the first line managers thought on the same line. This must be because of the wonderful orientation which our company provides once someone gets promoted to the ranks of a first line manager. With such a dedicated field force like you, nobody is going to stop us from serving the humankind the way we have been doing till date."

His speech was followed by a deafening round of applause. After that it was the time for lunch break. 

सेल्समैन का प्रोमोशन?

इतवार का दिन था इसलिए मैं सुबह के 9 बजने के बावजूद बिस्तर पर ही लेटा हुआ था। पिछले सप्ताह काफी टूर होने के कारण मैं अपने सनडे का पूरा मजा लेना चाहता था। बिस्तर पर लेटे लेटे मैं नाश्ते के लिये किसी बढ़िया मेनू के बारे में सोच ही रहा था कि कॉल बेल की आवाज सुनाई दी। जब मैने दरवाजा खोला तो सामने राकेश खड़ा था। राकेश भी मेरी तरह ही मेडिकल रिप्रेजेंटेटिव है। उसे देखते ही मेरे मुँह से निकला, "क्या बात है, लगता है सुबह सुबह ही नहा धोकर तैयार हो गये हो। माथे पर टीका भी लगा है। लगता है सीधा मंदिर से आ रहे हो। कोई खास वजह?"

राकेश बहुत खुश नजर आ रहा था और वह खुशी उसकी आवाज में भी झलक रही थी। उसने 1000 वाट की हँसी बिखेरते हुए कहा, "हाँ, एक अच्छी खबर है। मेरा प्रोमोशन हो गया है। मंदिर गया था प्रसाद चढ़ाने। लो लड्डू खाओ।"

मैने उससे लड्डू लिया और लड्डू का एक टुकड़ा मुँह में लेते हुए कहा, "क्या बात है। बधाई हो। लगता है एरिया मैनेजर बन गये हो। किस हेडक्वार्टर में पोस्टिंग हुई है। भैया, मैनेजर बनने के बाद हम लोगों को भी याद रखना।"

राकेश ने मेरी बात बीच में ही काटते हुए कहा, "अरे नहीं, एरिया मैनेजर नहीं बना हूँ.......।"

मैने फिर पूछा, "तो तुम्हारी कम्पनी में भी मेरी कम्पनी की तरह रीजनल ट्रेनिंग मैनेजर का पोस्ट क्रियेट हुआ है?"

राकेश ने आगे कहा, "नहीं, नहीं। अब मैं मेडिकल रिप्रेजेंटेटिव से सीनियर मेडिकल रिप्रेजेंटेटिव बन गया हूँ। सैलरी में थोड़ा हाइक मिला है। एलाउएंस भी थोड़ा बढ़ गया है।"

मैने कहा, "चलो अच्छी बात है। लेकिन तुम्हें नहीं लगता कि ये कम्पनी वाले बिना मतलब की बात करते हैं। प्रोमोशन के नाम पर लॉलीपॉप पकड़ा दिया तुम्हें। वैसे भी तुम पाँच साल से काम कर रहे हो। सीनियर तो हो ही गये।"

मेरी बात सुनकर राकेश कुर्सी में धँस सा गया। वह बोला, "आज तक किसी छोटे शहर के मेडिकल रिप्रेजेंटेटिव को प्रोमोट होते हुए सुना है? वही प्रोमोट होते हैं जो मैनेजर के हेडक्वार्टर में रहते हैं। हमारे जैसे लोग तो बस सीनियर मेडिकल रिप्रेजेंटेटिव या बिजनेस डेवलपमेंट मैनेजर का डेजिग्नेशन पा लें वही बहुत है।"

मैने कहा, "इस बारे में मेरा कॉन्सेप्ट तो बिलकुल साफ है। डेजिग्नेशन चाहे जो हो तुम फिर भी कम्पनी के पायदान में सबसे निचले पोजीशन पर हो। कम्पनी का कोई भी वर्कर तुम्हें रिपोर्ट नहीं करता है। तुम्हारे जॉब का नेचर वही रहता है। फिर ये किस तरह से प्रोमोशन हुआ?"

राकेश ने कहा, "अब तुम्हारे जितना दिमाग मेरे पास तो है नहीं। अरे इस तथाकथित प्रोमोशन पर मुझे थोड़ी खुशी मनाने से तो मत रोको। आज थोड़ा जश्न मनाते हैं। खाना तो तुम बहुत अच्छा बनाते हो। चलो चिकन खरीद कर लाते हैं और साथ में बियर भी। खर्चा मेरी तरफ से। ठीक है?"

मैने भी सोचा कि छोटी छोटी खुशियाँ मनाने का हक तो सबको है। इसलिए मैने कहा, "क्या बात कही है। मैं झटपट तैयार हो जाता हूँ।"